The 49-year-old, from Eggesford, Devon, has developed a formula to judge the scone, jam, cream, tea and setting.
And he says finding the right choice of jam is a vital aspect.
“The typical strawberry jam is actually quiet insipid in a cream tea. Gooseberry or plum or blackcurrant work much better,” he said.
“You need to have a jam which actually has fruit in it and tastes like what it’s supposed to be.”
The father-of-four also says he prefers the ‘Devon’ method, whereby the cream is spread on the scone first and clotted cream, he said, is non-negotiable.
Mr Townsend said: “I have a moustache, so I need a cream that if it goes on first it acts as a plaster so that the jam doesn’t fall off.”
But after months of searching, he claims the best cream tea can be found in The Old Forge Café in Chagford, in Dartmoor National Park.
He said: “It’s my favourite for a few reasons. It is a lovely setting, the scone is presented beautifully in a little basket and they serve an unbelievable tasty jam.
“They have the whole package. For me, it is the gold standard for a cream tea – but I’m looking for someone to beat it.”
On a sabbatical from his career in the care industry, Ditch embarked on his project after being disappointed by the overall standard he came across in tea shops.
Ditch is planning ‘at least another hundred reviews’ around Devon’s south coast but he admits the calorie count is causing him problems.
He said: “I do between six and eight cream teas in day.
“I try and eat just one eighth of a scone with cream and another eighth without, but I lose the odd battle when I stumble into somewhere exceptional.”
Writing on his blog, where he posts reviews, Ditch said: “This hunt was all just inspired by my love of cream teas.
I just want to let people know where the good places are.”
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