Between sleepless nights, an endless list of chores, and no time for yourself or each other, having a baby takes a toll on most relationships.
According to Shaunti Feldhahn, a social researcher and author of The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, making a conscious effort to spend time together, even in an informal way, is the key to a healthy relationship. So even if you don`t have time for a date night, find some way to connect.
Instead of keeping tabs on how much you`re doing and how much your partner isn`t, if you think about what the other is giving, you`ll be more likely to want to reciprocate.
Whisper sweet nothings and keep your relationship strong even when stress is in the full force, according to Feldhahn. For men, saying thank you makes them feel appreciated, respected and trusted. And women want to know that they`re loved so showing affection or even a sweet text can convey that.
Have fun: watch TV, take up a new hobby, or play a game—whatever it is, do it together most days.
Schedule sex. “Scheduling sex is the new foreplay for new parents,” said Dr. Francine Lederer, clinical psychologist in Los Angeles, Calif. Sure, it`s not romantic, but with a new baby, it might be the only way to make sure it happens. Not in the mood? Make time for intimacy, touch and affection, even if it`s just holding hands.
Compliment each other. When you`re stressed out and sleep deprived, it`s easy to criticize your partner`s shortcomings, but if you acknowledge what you both did right and praise each other for it, it bodes well for the relationship.
Laugh. Amidst the seriousness of work and raising children, find the lighthearted moments and humor in life. Crack a joke, watch a funny movie, and laugh together.
Get help. Drop the kids off at grandma`s house for a night or have a few babysitters you can call so you and your partner can go out.
If your relationship problems aren`t improving, talking to a therapist or marriage counselor can help.
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